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Illogical language (25 Ağustos 2007) Bu yazı ingilizce öğretmeni bir arkadaşa gitmişti. Belki başkaları da ilgilenir diye buraya koydum. Buradaki cümlelerin bir kısmını tercüme etmek mümkün değildir, ancak Türkçe'deki mukabilleri bulunabilir. Dear friend, There was a guy, an Englishman, on TV some time ago, who told he had been living here in Turkey for a long time. This must have been true since he talked Turkish very fluently. In that program he criticized Turkish for having some illogical phrases and structures. One example he gave was the sentence “top duvarın arkasına kaçtı.” He argued that a ball could not escape since it had no will to “escape.” My argument is that language is not a logical process, meaning the formation of language is not necessarily based on the laws of logic, rather, it dictates our logic how to work. Any language may have such illogical, but all the way natural, constructions, and English is no exception. I browsed the www for some illogical phrases in English and came across many of them. I send you some of my findings, hoping they may be useful for you, too. Avnivs. Note: I marked illogical phrases with a "*" (here with a different font color), the rest are just for amusement. *** Are female moths called myths? Are there any unguided missiles? Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do fish get thirsty? Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words? Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do steam rollers really roll steam? Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do witches run spell checkers? Does killing time damage eternity? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? Have you ever wondered? How can there be selfhelp "groups"? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How did a fool and his money get together? (An allusion to the old saying: The fool and his money will soon part.) How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order? How is it possible to have a civil war? How many weeks are there in a light year? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?" If a cow laughed, would milk come of out her nose? If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb? If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them? If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from? If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? If drumsticks are for hitting drums, what are breadsticks for? If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? (mare = horse, nightmare?) If I save time, when do I get it back? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? Is "tired old cliché" one? Is a sleeping bull a bulldozer? Is drilling for oil boring? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky? Is the nose the scenter of the face? (center and scenter, homophones) Is this bullshit or fertilizer? Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell? What's the synonym for thesaurus? What do batteries run on? What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company? What do you call a male ladybug? What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? (They say, “God bless you” to someone sneezing) What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What happens if you're scared half to death twice? What happens when none of your bees wax? What happens when you swallow your pride? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What is the speed of dark? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? When people lose weight, where does it go? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? When we say our mind wanders where does it go? Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where does the white go when the snow melts? Where does your lap go when you stand up? Where is Old Zealand? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why did the pot call the kettle black? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do flamingos stand on only one leg? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on? Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do they call it life insurance? Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends? Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? Why do they make scented toilet paper? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there? Why do your feet smell and your nose runs? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why get even, when you can get odd? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is clear considered a color? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? Why isn't there mouseflavored cat food? You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Geri Dön | Ana Sayfa |
(evet, bildiniz siz bir dahisiniz Windows Vista 'dan arakladim)
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Son güncelleme:
29 Ağustos 2008 23:11
Bu sayfadaki içeriği izinsiz kopyalayan eşek kulaklıdır.
© Ali AYEN Ankara - 2007
Bu sayfadaki içeriği izinsiz kopyalayan eşek kulaklıdır.
© Ali AYEN Ankara - 2007